Monday, May 20, 2013
Many a blogger has taken this topic to heart and written about it. Like when Bonnie wrote about it. And lots of other times, but she's the only one that's in my brain right now.
So really, I'm not going to go into it. Because I'm too exhausted to think about why making friends as an adult sucks.
The point of this is that I (we) made a new friend and I (we) am VERY excited.
And, ok, he's our neighbor. So it's like a built in friend. But.
He's my (our) age, and he likes beer, games, movie and outdoor activities. Just like nearly every other person my (our) age. The difference is that he is MY (our) new friend and ally in a world we aren't familiar with.
I'm trying to get used to saying we/our more, because it's no longer me anymore- my B has more to do with my life than ever.
In other news, I had a weekend. Just like everyone else.
I looked through some old memories and found some wonderful post it notes from my V bf8.
I watched a LOT of old home videos... including old shows I participated in (this one was Harvey, my debut onto the big stage)
B and I planned some of our wedding right here- wind blowing, birds chirp-chirpn' away, and the wonderful aroma of grass. It was basically the best way to plan a big day.
We spent Saturday night at our local drive in- super cheap, super fun and a great date night! We saw Star Trek 2, which I give just one thumbs up. Maybe one and a half.
It was nice to have a quite(ish) weekend at home with the two of us because there's no telling when it'll happen again. Life is taking off and hopefully we'll both be busy enough to fill our time.
This man is my everything, and can I just point out how incredibly cute he is?
What's that? You forgot I was on ALL the social media?
It's cool... I forgot for a while too.
But now you can find me here on Twitter, here on Instagram (don't worry, I'll accept you) and what the hell, here on Facebook.
Someday (this week) I'll make this a legit blog and keep all that stuff on the side. For now? You'll just have to work with that.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
I wasn't sure how to put everything together, and there's still some things back in the Mitten that I have yet to claim in PA. But during a long day of listening to my smoke alarm go off (ELEVEN TIMES I might add because that shit adds up all day) I decided to be productive during my non-work day.
Also- sometimes taking one day off of work makes you feel glorious and a little rebellious and was needed after all the loving I was able to encounter this weekend.
I busted out all my "memory" boxes and decided what to hang up, what to put away, and where to put my fancy desk.
So I put a few things together, and now I'm proudly sitting at a desk (albeit one without a chair; I'm using a footstool currently) with my computer hooked up and pictures of my family surrounding me currently.
And I love it.
In other news, I went to Michigan this weekend and drank in all of the deliciousness that is spring in that state. I stayed up way too late with V my first night, but that couldn't even deter me from all the fun of Saturday.
Besides packing up more stuff and feeling a little nostalgic for my old apartment, my mother and I also picked up my wedding dress from the store. Oh, right, I found and purchased a wedding dress! Scratch that off my stress list thankyouverymuch.
Besides some yummy lunch and dress shopping, I also got a few minutes with my two best friends:
...and we obviously enjoyed the sunshine while it lasted.
I stopped by my old restaurant before the Saturday night rush and loved seeing everyone. Lots of hugs, lots of smiles and a couple of "I hate you kind of"'s from my former supervisor. Ahh, the restaurant world.
That night my family played games, giggled over Chinese food and did a small bit of wedding talk. Lots of bonding and enjoyment with our game night.
Sunday was more relaxed, with some good TV and a grandmother visit. A little more wedding planning, some scout planning for my brother and more Chinese food led us to the afternoon. And then I boarded my stuff up and headed back home.
It never fails that no matter which direction I'm driving (really I just mean between here and Michigan) I will always cry at some point. After the happy, upbeat songs always comes some sob song that reminds me of one feeling of insecurity and down I go. The drive there is from fear of things not being the same. The drive home is always unhappiness at why I've left the core of my life behind.
Eventually I level my head, wrap up those feelings and concentrate on the best parts of my life right now- my fiance who will always wait at home for me and greet me with the best hug, a best friend who will always talk to me no matter what, another best friend that always has a handful of stories to share, a mother that will help in every situation, a father who has our best interests in mind, a brother that is growing up to be a very nice man, beautiful cousins with hilarious parents, a grandmother that just wants to help, a house to hold all my stuff (and wow do I have a lot!), internet connection to keep me linked to everyone, and a job to help me pay for these things.
Even though all I want to do is look up local theatre and go back to school for something, anything.
That was a lot of stuff. Thanks for lending me your ears. Eyes. Whatever.
Monday, May 6, 2013
I did something silly yesterday.
I bought a fancy new samsung galaxy 3
Hear me out- B got one first, and I loved it so so much. I've been without a smart phone for a few months and man was it nice to be away from technology like that.
But I missed the keyboard, the functionality, the fun!
Plus I'm going to need to take a lot of pictures if I want to bring this blog around and that phone wasn't doing it. Plus, when I don't have my camera on me, now I can use this handy dandy device.
In conclusion, here is a picture of my water bottle, because that's what's near me on my lunch break.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
... the sunshine outside.
... the trains making lots of noise, because it reminds me that people are continuously moving around me.
...presents from a mom and grandma that love and cherish you (this book is so SWEET! pretty pictures and inspiring quotes. My heart sings!)
... knowing I can SLEEP IN tomorrow.
... actually, knowing I can take a nap now.
... a good book to get lost in. Currently, I'm rereading Kathy Griffin's autobiography, which I love to get my mind off of life stuff.
... this guy, because he's just so incredible. And cute. And funny. And smart. And all of the other good words forever and ever.
... a thank you gift from future in-laws that will help us make this place home.
... the knowledge that YES this is getting easier and YES this is the right place to be.
... knowing I will be back in Michigan for Mother's Day. I haven't spent Mother's Day with my mom in years, so I'm excited to be able to actually enjoy that holiday. But not at a restaurant.
... talking to my best friend at least once a day and no longer being scared that she and I will somehow drift apart. Nope, not happening.
... having people read my thoughts. It's a good connection.
and most importantly, choosing to be happy simply because I can and because that's how I feel. Happy.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
|my 21st birthday|
Goodbyes are really difficult. The thing that makes them easier is knowing that they aren't real goodbyes, they're "see ya later!"'s.
It's the little things that make it easier to live so far away from my Michigan life.
Moving to Pittsburgh has been really difficult. Way more difficult than I ever thought, actually. Maybe it's because I took on way too much in the beginning and tried to do it all! I started a job the day after I moved most of my stuff. I hadn't realized how much I didn't have coming out here- support, friends, money- and that all really threw me.
Granted, I had (and have) a lot of support, I'm not saying that I'm all alone. B has been (like I've always said) such a good guy to stand next to. He knows what to say and when to say it, he is good about letting me cry and he even lets me vent. But then he pulls in for a hug and tells me, in nice terms, that this is good, that this will feel better soon, and that I will be ok.
I think that's something I struggled with a lot at first- the acceptance of being ok. Pulling myself away from everything I knew was a shock I wasn't ready for, yes, but it was also a good way to stand back and take stock of what is important in my life. About why the things I cared about were/are important. But now I know that it's ok that I'm ok here; that I'm supposed to be able to laugh with coworkers, that I'm allowed to brag about the skyline in the city, that I'm able to enjoy the absolute beauty that Pennsylvania offers.
The views are no Lake Huron at sunset with loved ones all around, but the hills and trees are so very refreshing. I say hills, but I really mean small mountains- this terrain is no joke!
I like sharing my city too. B and I have had lots of fun mini-adventures and when his parents and K came in, we did some sight seeing too.
This past week my mom came into town and it was something that I really really needed, I just hadn't realized it. Not only did she fill my fridge and pantry (food! basic pantry stuff!) but she also helped pick out some items that make this house feel a little more like home. That was something B and I haven't really done yet, besides his parents being very helpful with some bedding decisions.
Thanks to my mom, we have a piece of art and curtains- something I hadn't realized how much I needed for homey touches.
Plus, we went to the city and walked around the River Walk at dusk to see the city in glorious sunlight. We rode the incline and enjoyed pretty views of the skyline from Mt Washington. We laughed and prepped food and explored. She even helped me find back ways to the mall!
I was lucky to have time with not only my future mother-in-law over the weekend, but also my mom this week. I'm lucky enough to realize how incredible both of these women are, and how much I needed their motherly touches around the house.
This morning when my mom left, I cried a little. And then I cried some more on my way to work, asking myself why I moved so far from her. All my reasons are not wrong- love, a new adventure, mostly to just be close to B after 3 years- but it struck me how much I missed her once she left.
I'm glad she was able to come out and enjoy my new city with me, and I'm excited for when she comes back out to do some more exploring when we have more time together (I picked up a shitton of overtime hours this week to pay for the move) and eventually when my dad and brother make it out, we'll be able to show them some fun stuff.
After all of this rambling, what I'm basically saying is that I'm so glad my mom visited. I needed her, and it was the perfect time for me to feel loved and supported. I already miss her, but we're in the works of a countdown until Mother's Day, so I think I'll be ok.
In the mean time, anyone else want to come explore my new city with me...?