How a haircut changes everything.

It was a panic-y moment for me, the exact second that I was allowed to change my mind. She had already washed my hair and sectioned it off, and was holding scary looking scissors very close to my neck.

"Ready?" she asked. I looked over at K for one last burst of confidence and nodded slightly. And then she cut my hair.

I'd never thought of cutting my hair as any type of "religious-esque" experience before this. It had been three years since my last professional cut (and the last time I got it cut, V actually just trimmed it for me) and I was ready for a change.

This past weekend was a pretty emotional rollercoaster and by Tuesday, K and I looked at each other and just knew it was time for a change. So we went to a real salon and got some really stylish new do's. 

I'm extremely happy with this haircut- it's short and fun and spunky. It's easier to take care of, I don't get knots and OH HI FRESH AIR ON MY NECK! It's easy to style and I think it looks damn good. Worth the money and completely perfect for my new attitude.

Stuff that I used to stress about is no longer such a factor for me. There was a turning point this weekend when I thought to myself, "So THIS is what life is supposed to feel like" and I wasn't bogged down with stupid work drama, or worries of who wasn't going to work what and why didn't she go to the party and are they sleeping together bullshit. I don't need that.

I don't need that.

That feels good to say. 

Upon seeing my new hair, one of my managers told me she didn't like it. She liked my old long hair and didn't think the new look "fit" me. And you know what?

I DON'T CARE

and THAT feels good to say. Yes, her opinion is valid and important for a majority of things. But I actually don't care about her opinion of my new hair cut.

And that's the power of my new hair. I love the feeling that I don't have to stress. I love this newfound inspiration within myself. I am proud of myself and I am a pretty damn good person. I have some important goals and I've set myself up to succeed. I have the best support system behind me and I know that I will always have something to fall back on.

I was taught to have a back up plan. I've got several. But I've got a new outlook on what I have to do and what I need to do to get it done. And I'm going to list it so I can keep track myself.

I need to graduate with my Bachelor's Degree. I am going to do this by December. I will walk across a stage with a very expensive piece of paper in my hand and have my family and friends cheer for me. I will do this.

I will continue to have a strong relationship with B. He is, above all, my very best friend. I am lucky to be with him and I will always promise to show him how important he is in my life.

I need to explore more. Even in my own backyard. I will take days off of work, I will take new opportunities, and I will get outside this summer. 

I need to say "no" at work. I will exercise my power to feel human and not be able to take on ALL THE THINGS. I will let go when things are out of my control and I will do my best to make the most out of this restaurant experience. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity and I've already learned so much from it.

I need to spend more time with my family. My little brother and little cousins are growing up incredibly fast and I want to witness them become even more wonderful people. I will spend more time with them and I will enjoy life with them at all opportunities.

It's like the new year has finally caught up with me. I'm willing to make these changes and if it took a hair cut for me to realize all of this, than I am grateful for one of the cheapest (money wise) awakening moments of my life to have taken place right next to my best friend.

Let's DO THIS!